fallinflames (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fallinflames) wrote2012-05-18 09:49 am
fallinflames) wrote2012-05-18 09:49 am
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Mmmmmkay... I want to ramble... and this is truly going to be rambly. I don't really have anything plotted out about any of this. Mostly, it will be just free writing as a thought strikes me, but I'll try to keep it on or related to Spitfire and sex.
Spitfire is incredibly casual about sex for the most part. He has it because he enjoys it and it feels good. That is about as simple as it gets where that's concerned. He attaches no greater meaning to it. This is partly because it's not in his nature to, but also because his first three sexual experiences were pretty gratuitously for the pleasure and occurred barely into his first week in Aather. Those first three (Vincent, Chariot, and Mukuro) really established a pattern of sex for instantaneous gratification, and while it did lead to a much deeper affection with Chariot, Vincent and Mukuro were very much a one time thing with no interest in repeating.
Well, while I'm thinking about it, I'm just going to run down the list and order of Spitfire's sex partners:
1) Vincent
2) Chariot*
3) Mukuro
4) Nii*
5) Jade
6) Hatter
7) Kaworu
The asterisk! It's an important thing to note. The asterisk indicate the only people Spitfire has ever had sex with more than once. Chariot is by far his most frequent partner, but Nii is not someone he seeks out often, but it happens on a pretty regular basis. I will come back to these two later because there is a huge difference in his sexual relationships with them.
Now, the other five: Vincent, Mukuro, Jade, Hatter, and Kaworu.
Sex with Vincent was nothing more than a hand/blow job. Most likely, Vincent was just being a dick when he initiate that. It happened on Spitfire's third day in Aather, and Spitfire did not actually start regretting having sex with Vincent until after his first month or so. It... was not something he would ever have repeated afterwards. Vincent is Vincent. Sex happened. He went on to bigger and better things. He tries really hard not to think about it at this point though. There are really just some things that should be left in the past and forgotten.
Spitfire had sex with Mukuro while Mukuro was a girl. This makes Mukuro Spitfire's only heterosexual experience... for a kind of twisted definition of it. Well... kind of, I'll get more into that later because it's even more crazy. Mukuro was Spitfire's third sex partner, and other than seeing him around the Forest, Spitfire had no connection to him. He happened across Mukuro while Mukuro was wearing Beatrice's collar, flirted, Mukuro was Mukuro, and somehow they ended up having sex against a tree. No lie, Spitfire thoroughly enjoyed it, but as time went on, there was the understanding that it wasn't sex with a girl that made it great but Mukuro's personality. So yes, this ended up as a one time thing. Possibly it could have been more, but it wasn't something he was willing to pursue.
Jade really sucks at sex. Well, more accurately, by the time Spitfire had sex with Jade, he had developed a taste for how he enjoyed having sex. Ignoring Vincent, his previous partners (Chariot, Mukuro, and Nii) were very... hands on, adventurous, casual, and generally pretty passionate about things. Possibly the only reason Jade happened is that Mage was being Mage and Spitfire kissed him and it went downhill from there. Jade was Spitfire's first "oh god why did I do that" immediate regret. He still doesn't quite get it, other than it was in the moment and Jade is attractive occasionally. Spitfire doesn't think about this one often, but when he does, it usually inspires a face-in-hands reaction and a desire to purge it from his memories again. Oh, I suppose I should note that again, this was a hand/blow job only experience.
I'm going to breeze over Hatter here for a moment because he doesn't actually belong in this group except by chance. As far as it goes, he was a one time thing because he ended up in the book shortly after they had sex. (Blow jobs ftw.) Like I said, he will get discussed more later.
The final person in Spitfire's one time list is Kaworu. He is also kind of in a weird position because if circumstances were different, he could easily be a frequent partner, but with the way things were and are, he ended up being a rather instantaneous regret. Kaworu is someone that Spitfire has a pretty intense emotional attachment to. He is one of two people that Spitfire feels pretty comfortable with discussing problems. He was the person Spitfire discussed being dead with after Kazu confirmed it and it was during the massive chaos around that event and other emotional gut punches that he and Spitfire had sex -- hand jobs only.
To explain this one, it's pretty important to note that Kaworu and Spitfire have had a... very honest relationship since very early on. While it didn't start developing into an intense affection until they reached the Cove, it has pretty much always been there. Kaworu has been pretty consistently at face value with Spitfire, and this is true even when they started to move from being comfortable acquaintances to being more intimate friends. Intimate in this case, referring to their willingness to share and talk more intimately, not referring to sex. However, sex was an issue, and one they both felt. Nothing happened for a long time because of Kaworu's boyfriend(s) though. Enter an emotionally distraught Spitfire in desperate need of physical comfort... aaaand a completely uninhibited Kaworu. Their inhibitions normally balanced each other on a fine edge, so when that teetered, sex happened. Spitfire immediately regretted doing it, not because he didn't want to have sex with him but because Spitfire valued their friendship more... and pretty well knew that he'd just shot his growing friendship with Kanji in the back.
So, like I said, Kaworu being a one time thing is probably only due to circumstances, namely Kaworu's boyfriends being monogamous(ish), and to be further honest, if Kanji was willing, Spitfire would readily enter into a threesome with him and Kaworu. Right now though, he's being careful about his physical comfort with Kaworu though it has pretty much fallen back into a much more comfortable and less sexually tense level for Spitfire. So... the experience was good in some ways and probably would have happened at some point no matter what. He just still feels really bad about it.
Okay, now for the big three: Chariot, Nii, and Hatter.
Chariot is easily the most significant sexual relationship Spitfire has. He was the second person Spitfire had sex with, and has been incredibly steady since then. While actually playing them out has tapered off almost completely, it's a pretty easy guess that Chariot and Spitfire have sex 2-3 times a week if not more often. Chariot's completely casual approach to sex had a huge impact on how Spitfire would view all of his sexual relationships afterwards. He eventually came to understand that some people have committed relationships with only one other person, but he was introduced to sex in a way that made such a concept seem incredibly foreign. Sex was casual; it was done for the enjoyment of the act and the pleasure of the company. For him, sex wasn't a commitment to anything other than the moment, and for the most part, this remains true, though after seeing how happy certain people are in their committed relationships, Spitfire has developed a bit of envy for it, but he also realizes that he probably couldn't do it himself.
In a very short order though, Chariot had completely shaded Spitfire's views on sex. There was a period of a few weeks that Chariot was Spitfire's only sex partner, and Spitfire was incredibly comfortable with that. They had a good balance of tension, comfort, and experimentation. Chariot is pretty much just good for Spitfire when it comes to sex. It's playful and pushes a lot of boundaries without making either of them excessively uncomfortable. Neither of them place a demand for exclusivity on the other, but it has developed into that direction without any major changes with their friendship.
And because of everything that has gone on between them, yes, Spitfire loves Chariot. I mentioned briefly in a question meme that it's almost brotherly and definitely an incredibly intimate friendship as far as he's concerned. That said, he's not really in love with him. There is no intense romantic feelings at least none that he would recognize. However, it is a really strong emotional attachment and a place only a very, very few people are capable of reaching. Chariot is the only person who combines Spitfire's love for him with a physical relationship with him, and as far as Spitfire's concerned, that's just fine because just how they are, and it's how the others are not.
(Just to reference, the only other people who have gotten anywhere close to this level are Drift and Kaworu, and they are both relationships that Spitfire is far more comfortable with remaining platonic at this point.)
Then there's Nii. Nii and Spitfire have, and always have had, a relationship based pretty exclusively on sexual attraction. They know very little about each other's lives and have very little desire to learn more. Spitfire does not feel any need to spend time with Nii outside of sex at this point, though there might have been a while early on that he attempted more. At this point though, it is pretty much a given that whenever one of them approaches the other, it is with sex in mind, and pretty much only that. To date, Spitfire has never been disappointed with any of it either.
Sex with Nii pushes Spitfire to the limits of his comfort zones a lot of the time. He experiments far more extravagantly with Nii than he does with Chariot, though the experimentation in sex is something they share. And while Nii does push the limits, he has never gone over the limits, which has led to a lot of trust in him as far as sex goes, and Spitfire enjoys that Nii pushes those boundaries a little each time. Because it's such a purely sexual relationship, Spitfire is also more comfortable with allowing Nii to try things and show him more and more. (Yes, Spitfire does consider Nii far more sexually experienced than Chariot.) Because of this comfort, Spitfire has been introduced to a number of things that he enjoys but won't bring up with other partner -- bondage, toys, pain, etc. Nii offers Spitfire a range of kinkiness that he just doesn't get anywhere else.
And while they don't have sex frequently, they do have sex regularly, usually every couple of weeks. This makes Nii Spitfire's only other multiple experience partner. He's not someone that Spitfire could be comfortable having sex with on a more frequent basis, but their encounters have never left him wanting in any way. Satisfaction guaranteed.
So back to Hatter. Hatter is in a very unusual place in Spitfire's line up since he is... well, was until Mukuro was booked... the only person he has had sex with who has left Aather. His disappearance came only a day or two after their first sexual experience, and it was... okay, it was good and Spitfire had been developing a comfortable friendship with Hatter since his arrival in Aather. In short then, Hatter is the only person that Spitfire was never able to figure out what was going on with him. He was a one time sex partner only because he left before they could figure out if the tension and emotions were going to develop into something more than that.
This... actually causes a bit of a fixation for Spitfire. There's a lot of potential between them and he doesn't have a way to figure out the answers. It's a little frustrating when he does think about it, which... he does... a lot. It's also an impossible situation because he knows that unless Hatter ever returns from the book, he'll never have the answers he needs. So, yes, Hatter is in a very unique position for Spitfire's sex partners.
Okay, enough sex. Let's talk makeouts!
Built from his sexual experiences and his own natural outgoing personality, Spitfire really enjoys being physical with people. Touching them, petting their hair, draping on them, and kissing their cheek are just very casual ways he expresses his affections for people. Nine times out of ten, there's nothing to it and never would be. Sometimes that casual touching builds into something more than casual, and makeouts happen. So far, this tension has developed with Kazu, Oz, King, Ace, Drift to an extent, and, now recently, Nahadoth. For the most part, this tension doesn't really go anywhere. It flares up and dies down in a short span of time. Spitfire is pretty comfortable letting it build and letting it go.
(Note, Kaworu is probably more appropriately in this category than the sex category.)
Makeouts for Spitfire carry an odd mix of meanings behind them. Surprise! They are not always sexual!!! I know, amazing thought. Sometimes it's just a comfortable expression of his friendship for him (see: Oz, Drift, Kaworu, and Ace). Other times, it is something that could be sexual but things aren't meshing right (Kazu and King). I'll let you know where Naha falls when he figures it out. But! It is something he's comfortable with doing with people he feels close to. It is not an act that carries with it an excessive amount of intentions. (I can't tell if I worded that right, but...) Basically, he might desire more from someone he makes out with, but if it doesn't happen, he's not going to be completely distraught about it.
So, all said and done, if you haven't noticed the pattern yet, Spitfire is completely gay. The two females he has had sex with or made out with are either naturally male or potentially male respectively. He does find women to be very attractive! Do not every mistake this! He fully appreciates them physically, and he thoroughly enjoys their friendship. However, there is an essential spark that's missing to move it past that.
...
I think I just TL;DR on the fact that Spitfire has a lot of sex and is gay. :|a
Spitfire is incredibly casual about sex for the most part. He has it because he enjoys it and it feels good. That is about as simple as it gets where that's concerned. He attaches no greater meaning to it. This is partly because it's not in his nature to, but also because his first three sexual experiences were pretty gratuitously for the pleasure and occurred barely into his first week in Aather. Those first three (Vincent, Chariot, and Mukuro) really established a pattern of sex for instantaneous gratification, and while it did lead to a much deeper affection with Chariot, Vincent and Mukuro were very much a one time thing with no interest in repeating.
Well, while I'm thinking about it, I'm just going to run down the list and order of Spitfire's sex partners:
1) Vincent
2) Chariot*
3) Mukuro
4) Nii*
5) Jade
6) Hatter
7) Kaworu
The asterisk! It's an important thing to note. The asterisk indicate the only people Spitfire has ever had sex with more than once. Chariot is by far his most frequent partner, but Nii is not someone he seeks out often, but it happens on a pretty regular basis. I will come back to these two later because there is a huge difference in his sexual relationships with them.
Now, the other five: Vincent, Mukuro, Jade, Hatter, and Kaworu.
Sex with Vincent was nothing more than a hand/blow job. Most likely, Vincent was just being a dick when he initiate that. It happened on Spitfire's third day in Aather, and Spitfire did not actually start regretting having sex with Vincent until after his first month or so. It... was not something he would ever have repeated afterwards. Vincent is Vincent. Sex happened. He went on to bigger and better things. He tries really hard not to think about it at this point though. There are really just some things that should be left in the past and forgotten.
Spitfire had sex with Mukuro while Mukuro was a girl. This makes Mukuro Spitfire's only heterosexual experience... for a kind of twisted definition of it. Well... kind of, I'll get more into that later because it's even more crazy. Mukuro was Spitfire's third sex partner, and other than seeing him around the Forest, Spitfire had no connection to him. He happened across Mukuro while Mukuro was wearing Beatrice's collar, flirted, Mukuro was Mukuro, and somehow they ended up having sex against a tree. No lie, Spitfire thoroughly enjoyed it, but as time went on, there was the understanding that it wasn't sex with a girl that made it great but Mukuro's personality. So yes, this ended up as a one time thing. Possibly it could have been more, but it wasn't something he was willing to pursue.
Jade really sucks at sex. Well, more accurately, by the time Spitfire had sex with Jade, he had developed a taste for how he enjoyed having sex. Ignoring Vincent, his previous partners (Chariot, Mukuro, and Nii) were very... hands on, adventurous, casual, and generally pretty passionate about things. Possibly the only reason Jade happened is that Mage was being Mage and Spitfire kissed him and it went downhill from there. Jade was Spitfire's first "oh god why did I do that" immediate regret. He still doesn't quite get it, other than it was in the moment and Jade is attractive occasionally. Spitfire doesn't think about this one often, but when he does, it usually inspires a face-in-hands reaction and a desire to purge it from his memories again. Oh, I suppose I should note that again, this was a hand/blow job only experience.
I'm going to breeze over Hatter here for a moment because he doesn't actually belong in this group except by chance. As far as it goes, he was a one time thing because he ended up in the book shortly after they had sex. (Blow jobs ftw.) Like I said, he will get discussed more later.
The final person in Spitfire's one time list is Kaworu. He is also kind of in a weird position because if circumstances were different, he could easily be a frequent partner, but with the way things were and are, he ended up being a rather instantaneous regret. Kaworu is someone that Spitfire has a pretty intense emotional attachment to. He is one of two people that Spitfire feels pretty comfortable with discussing problems. He was the person Spitfire discussed being dead with after Kazu confirmed it and it was during the massive chaos around that event and other emotional gut punches that he and Spitfire had sex -- hand jobs only.
To explain this one, it's pretty important to note that Kaworu and Spitfire have had a... very honest relationship since very early on. While it didn't start developing into an intense affection until they reached the Cove, it has pretty much always been there. Kaworu has been pretty consistently at face value with Spitfire, and this is true even when they started to move from being comfortable acquaintances to being more intimate friends. Intimate in this case, referring to their willingness to share and talk more intimately, not referring to sex. However, sex was an issue, and one they both felt. Nothing happened for a long time because of Kaworu's boyfriend(s) though. Enter an emotionally distraught Spitfire in desperate need of physical comfort... aaaand a completely uninhibited Kaworu. Their inhibitions normally balanced each other on a fine edge, so when that teetered, sex happened. Spitfire immediately regretted doing it, not because he didn't want to have sex with him but because Spitfire valued their friendship more... and pretty well knew that he'd just shot his growing friendship with Kanji in the back.
So, like I said, Kaworu being a one time thing is probably only due to circumstances, namely Kaworu's boyfriends being monogamous(ish), and to be further honest, if Kanji was willing, Spitfire would readily enter into a threesome with him and Kaworu. Right now though, he's being careful about his physical comfort with Kaworu though it has pretty much fallen back into a much more comfortable and less sexually tense level for Spitfire. So... the experience was good in some ways and probably would have happened at some point no matter what. He just still feels really bad about it.
Okay, now for the big three: Chariot, Nii, and Hatter.
Chariot is easily the most significant sexual relationship Spitfire has. He was the second person Spitfire had sex with, and has been incredibly steady since then. While actually playing them out has tapered off almost completely, it's a pretty easy guess that Chariot and Spitfire have sex 2-3 times a week if not more often. Chariot's completely casual approach to sex had a huge impact on how Spitfire would view all of his sexual relationships afterwards. He eventually came to understand that some people have committed relationships with only one other person, but he was introduced to sex in a way that made such a concept seem incredibly foreign. Sex was casual; it was done for the enjoyment of the act and the pleasure of the company. For him, sex wasn't a commitment to anything other than the moment, and for the most part, this remains true, though after seeing how happy certain people are in their committed relationships, Spitfire has developed a bit of envy for it, but he also realizes that he probably couldn't do it himself.
In a very short order though, Chariot had completely shaded Spitfire's views on sex. There was a period of a few weeks that Chariot was Spitfire's only sex partner, and Spitfire was incredibly comfortable with that. They had a good balance of tension, comfort, and experimentation. Chariot is pretty much just good for Spitfire when it comes to sex. It's playful and pushes a lot of boundaries without making either of them excessively uncomfortable. Neither of them place a demand for exclusivity on the other, but it has developed into that direction without any major changes with their friendship.
And because of everything that has gone on between them, yes, Spitfire loves Chariot. I mentioned briefly in a question meme that it's almost brotherly and definitely an incredibly intimate friendship as far as he's concerned. That said, he's not really in love with him. There is no intense romantic feelings at least none that he would recognize. However, it is a really strong emotional attachment and a place only a very, very few people are capable of reaching. Chariot is the only person who combines Spitfire's love for him with a physical relationship with him, and as far as Spitfire's concerned, that's just fine because just how they are, and it's how the others are not.
(Just to reference, the only other people who have gotten anywhere close to this level are Drift and Kaworu, and they are both relationships that Spitfire is far more comfortable with remaining platonic at this point.)
Then there's Nii. Nii and Spitfire have, and always have had, a relationship based pretty exclusively on sexual attraction. They know very little about each other's lives and have very little desire to learn more. Spitfire does not feel any need to spend time with Nii outside of sex at this point, though there might have been a while early on that he attempted more. At this point though, it is pretty much a given that whenever one of them approaches the other, it is with sex in mind, and pretty much only that. To date, Spitfire has never been disappointed with any of it either.
Sex with Nii pushes Spitfire to the limits of his comfort zones a lot of the time. He experiments far more extravagantly with Nii than he does with Chariot, though the experimentation in sex is something they share. And while Nii does push the limits, he has never gone over the limits, which has led to a lot of trust in him as far as sex goes, and Spitfire enjoys that Nii pushes those boundaries a little each time. Because it's such a purely sexual relationship, Spitfire is also more comfortable with allowing Nii to try things and show him more and more. (Yes, Spitfire does consider Nii far more sexually experienced than Chariot.) Because of this comfort, Spitfire has been introduced to a number of things that he enjoys but won't bring up with other partner -- bondage, toys, pain, etc. Nii offers Spitfire a range of kinkiness that he just doesn't get anywhere else.
And while they don't have sex frequently, they do have sex regularly, usually every couple of weeks. This makes Nii Spitfire's only other multiple experience partner. He's not someone that Spitfire could be comfortable having sex with on a more frequent basis, but their encounters have never left him wanting in any way. Satisfaction guaranteed.
So back to Hatter. Hatter is in a very unusual place in Spitfire's line up since he is... well, was until Mukuro was booked... the only person he has had sex with who has left Aather. His disappearance came only a day or two after their first sexual experience, and it was... okay, it was good and Spitfire had been developing a comfortable friendship with Hatter since his arrival in Aather. In short then, Hatter is the only person that Spitfire was never able to figure out what was going on with him. He was a one time sex partner only because he left before they could figure out if the tension and emotions were going to develop into something more than that.
This... actually causes a bit of a fixation for Spitfire. There's a lot of potential between them and he doesn't have a way to figure out the answers. It's a little frustrating when he does think about it, which... he does... a lot. It's also an impossible situation because he knows that unless Hatter ever returns from the book, he'll never have the answers he needs. So, yes, Hatter is in a very unique position for Spitfire's sex partners.
Okay, enough sex. Let's talk makeouts!
Built from his sexual experiences and his own natural outgoing personality, Spitfire really enjoys being physical with people. Touching them, petting their hair, draping on them, and kissing their cheek are just very casual ways he expresses his affections for people. Nine times out of ten, there's nothing to it and never would be. Sometimes that casual touching builds into something more than casual, and makeouts happen. So far, this tension has developed with Kazu, Oz, King, Ace, Drift to an extent, and, now recently, Nahadoth. For the most part, this tension doesn't really go anywhere. It flares up and dies down in a short span of time. Spitfire is pretty comfortable letting it build and letting it go.
(Note, Kaworu is probably more appropriately in this category than the sex category.)
Makeouts for Spitfire carry an odd mix of meanings behind them. Surprise! They are not always sexual!!! I know, amazing thought. Sometimes it's just a comfortable expression of his friendship for him (see: Oz, Drift, Kaworu, and Ace). Other times, it is something that could be sexual but things aren't meshing right (Kazu and King). I'll let you know where Naha falls when he figures it out. But! It is something he's comfortable with doing with people he feels close to. It is not an act that carries with it an excessive amount of intentions. (I can't tell if I worded that right, but...) Basically, he might desire more from someone he makes out with, but if it doesn't happen, he's not going to be completely distraught about it.
So, all said and done, if you haven't noticed the pattern yet, Spitfire is completely gay. The two females he has had sex with or made out with are either naturally male or potentially male respectively. He does find women to be very attractive! Do not every mistake this! He fully appreciates them physically, and he thoroughly enjoys their friendship. However, there is an essential spark that's missing to move it past that.
...
I think I just TL;DR on the fact that Spitfire has a lot of sex and is gay. :|a